Any of you oldies out there, will remember The Goon Show, a brilliant British radio show from the 1950’s starring the comedic talents of Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan and Peter Sellars.
One of the characters was a chap called Moriarty who used poor Neddy Seagoon to carry out his dastardly plans by proxy. Moriarty would always start with “ Let me tell you a tale Neddy “ and off he would go, spinning his yarn of fantastical logic.
So, let me tale you a tale Neddy and see how we go. After all, I am not saying this - so don't come kncoking at my door hate Police. Not my fault. It is Neddy and Moriarty what done it.
Read more: Let me tell you a tale Neddy. The Lurgy Lark.
As our world descends under a cloud of Wuhan woes, I have noticed that communications are changing and once simple things to say have become more sensitively voiced. Truly, what is the greater danger today? The lurgy or the lurgy language we use?
We must cloak our words in politically correct language, douse them in soft sugar and drizzle some maple syrup over the words to ensure that we do not come off as being mean, nasty, batophobic or mention the name of a certain country in Asia of a Red persuasion.
Oh no, heaven forbid. It is most unwise to ask a direct question, make a direct statement or voice a personal opinion that might be deemed hate speech.
Read more: Kung Flu Fighting – or the PC Bug? Which is worse?
15th March marks the anniversary of a very nasty day in New Zealand’s history. It is the Anniversary of an attack, by “ an Australian Right Wing Trump supporter on innocent moslems going about their business worshipping Allah in a mosque in the land of the Kiwi.” Quote not necessarily accurate but you get my drift. My words not Princess Cindys.
Princess Cindy, darling of the left, is a wicked Communist who has fundamentally changed New Zealand – for the worse. New Zealand is now estranged from its bigger brother Australia and in ONE YEAR she has made New Zealand a poster child for experimental Socialism.
I hate to rabbit on about the toilet paper apocalypse but I have to, on this occasion, highlight something that I feel is so morally and legally dangerous that it must be spoken about.
Unity Water, who controls all of the South East Queensland water supply, responded with a rather peculiar plea : wet wipes are rubbish. Put them in the bin.
Read more: More Specific Advice for avoiding /diagnosing NCOVID-19
My late father passed in 2015 aged 89. He was a veteran of the Royal Navy and, while in the New Zealand Navy, he spent time in the South Pacific. He was a proud Manxman and a damned fine bloke.
He contracted polio and TB in his war years and never even knew, until years later. I do remember him always having one smaller calf muscle than another and didn’t understand why. It must have been his brush with polio.
But he never complained. Not once. After all, he was a Real man, not a modern soyboy with limited tolerance to Reality.
Harry Markle, the soyboy previously known as Prince – seems to have very heartfelt lamentations over this poor little place being plundered by Global Mining companies at the expense of the trapped, tortured and sad citizens and hopes that President Trump realises that it is all his fault.
Chunga Changa? Did Harry have his gullibility guage set to Off?
Read more: Chunga Changa – the island Nation Harry heartaches over
I was 7 years old when the war broke out. I don't remember much of those years except they just rolled along but I do remember when the American Soldiers arrived in Auckland and a very fancy ice cream shop was opened in New Market and sold ice cream in a cone and with all sorts of fancy toppings.
The very first ice cream I had ever seen or tasted.
Read more: Epidemics are not new. It is how we handle them that has changed
A giant Kangaroo has been terrorising the residents of an isolated outback Australian Community and locals fear it is the first of a new super breed of Rogue Roos infected by a mutant strain of Covid-19.
The town, situated on the edge of Sturts Stony Desert in the arid South West of Queensland, had its first night of horror in December last year.The Local Police Officer, who has requested anonymity , said that he received a phone call at the station at 2am on the morning of December 2nd.
"At first I thought it was one of the lads who'd had a few too many beers" he stated.
"But then I realised this guy was for real - he was genuinely scared."
The officer sped the 50 kilometres from his station along the track that led to the isolated barren homestead. What he saw will stay etched in his mind forever.
Read more: GIANT KILLER KANGAROO RAISES RIOT IN AUSSIE OUTBACK!
When I was a kid, I used to go to the movies on a Saturday morning. Or, as my late Uncle used to call it, The Flicks. Others called it “ The Pictures “ or “ The cinema” … no matter, we went to see a movie and it cost a shilling.
We would all sit down in our seats, the lights would dim and a movie of a Lady on a horse would appear. We would stand up for the Lady on the horse and sing about saving the Queen.
Only then could we sit down again and wait for the Lady with the Ice creams to come around. It was magical. The crowded theatre; the Lady on the horse, the lady with the ice creams and the lady with the torch that led latecomers to their seats.
The room would hush as the feature started. A sense of excitement; trepidation and awe as we allowed our eyes to adjust to the dim within and the curtains to part. That was a moment of magic to me: the parting of the massive drapery that shielded the screen from view until it was time to behold the wonder of the Flick that would flicker and send us to another world.
What a sorry situation we have when some poor chap would rather pretend he is a girl than compete against his fellow males. He knows he is not good enough to win in the sports for men so he has to take on the girls. What kind of situation have we got when the Authorities who run these Sporting events are allowing this to have even started let alone continue.
How sad to need to cheat in order to win by being a loser.
Read more: How sad to need to cheat in order to win by being a loser.
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